Spoiler alert: They're not broken. They're just different—and maybe even better.

They’ve been flying solo for years—does that mean they’re undateable?
Not at all. But let’s be honest, when you meet someone who hasn’t been in a relationship since the iPhone 6 was the hot new thing, your brain might fire off a few alarm bells: What’s wrong with them? Are they emotionally unavailable? Do they even know how to relationship?

Let’s bust that myth wide open.

Long-term singles aren’t aliens. They’re not commitment-phobes or heartbreak hoarders (well, most of the time). In fact, they might just be the most self-aware, resilient, and intentional daters out there. But—and here’s the catch—dating them might require more patience and understanding than your average Tinder match.

Why Have They Been Single for So Long (And Why That’s Not a Red Flag)?

Let’s be real—people love to ask, “Why are you still single?” like it’s a riddle that needs solving. But the truth? There are plenty of solid reasons someone might have stayed out of the dating pool for a while—and none of them scream “run.” In fact, many are green flags in disguise.

Here’s why their single status isn’t something to side-eye:

1. They chose healing over rebounding.

Some people jump from relationship to relationship like it's a game of emotional hopscotch. Long-term singles? They often took the time to sit with their feelings, unpack their baggage, and actually do the inner work. That takes courage—and maturity. So instead of dragging unresolved drama into their next love story, they’re coming in clearer and calmer.

2. They focused on themselves—and not in a selfish way.

Whether it’s finishing a degree, growing a business, traveling the world, or just learning how to be alone without being lonely, long-term singles have often spent their time investing in themselves. That means they’re not looking for someone to “complete” them—they’re looking for someone to complement them.

3. They refused to settle.

Some people couple up just to avoid being alone. Long-term singles? Not so much. They held out for connection, not convenience. That’s not a red flag—that’s self-respect. It means they won’t fake chemistry just to have a plus-one at weddings or someone to split rent with.

4. They’ve been building standards, not walls.

Yes, they might be cautious. Yes, they might ask deeper questions earlier. But that’s not because they’re closed off—it’s because they know what doesn’t work for them anymore. They’ve learned from past experiences, and they’re not afraid to say “no thanks” to red flags they used to ignore.

5. They know who they are.

A long-term single has had time to figure out what makes them tick—what they value, what drains them, and what kind of love actually feels right. That kind of self-awareness? It’s a breath of fresh air in a world full of mixed signals and half-hearted swipes.

The Upsides of Dating a Long-Term Single

Spoiler: You might’ve just found the relationship MVP.

Okay, so they’ve been out of the game for a while—but that doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten how to love. In fact, dating someone who’s been long-term single might come with perks you didn’t see coming. Here’s why they might just be the secret weapon in your dating life:

1. They’re independent—and not in a “I don’t need anyone” way.

They know how to do life on their own. They won’t cling, smother, or make you their entire personality. They’ve built routines, hobbies, and friendships outside of romance, which means they’ll want you—not need you.

2. No emotional hangover from the last relationship.

They’re not fresh off a breakup, still stalking their ex on Instagram, or using you as a rebound. What you’re getting is someone who’s had space to let go, reset, and actually move on.

3. They value connection over convenience.

They’re not dating just because it’s cuffing season or because they’re tired of eating dinner alone. If they chose you, it’s intentional. That kind of clarity is rare—and refreshing.

4. They're full of stories, growth, and unfiltered authenticity.

They’ve lived a lot of life on their own, and they’ve learned a ton about themselves in the process. You’re not dating someone who’s been defined by relationships. You’re dating someone who’s carved their identity outside of one—and that’s powerful.

5. They’re not rushing anything.

Pressure? What pressure? Long-term singles are often perfectly happy taking things slow. They’ve waited this long—they’re not trying to fast-track anything just to check a box. That means you get to build something real, not rushed.

6. They appreciate love.

When someone’s been single for a while, they don’t take companionship for granted. Every small act of care—every check-in, every date night, every shared moment—matters to them. And when they finally let you in? Oh, you’ll feel it.

The Challenges You Might Face (And How to Navigate Them Like a Pro)

Alright, let’s keep it real—dating a long-term single isn’t all rainbows and emotional enlightenment. There are a few bumps on the road, but nothing you can’t handle (especially if you’ve got a sense of humor and a dash of patience).

So here’s the heads-up your best friend should’ve given you:

1. They might be a little... rusty.

Think of it like someone who hasn’t been to the gym in a while. They know the moves—they’re just a little wobbly at first. Same goes for long-term singles. Flirting might be awkward. Opening up might take time. PDA? That might take even more time. But give them space to warm up, and they’ll get there.

Pro tip: Don’t interpret awkwardness as disinterest. It might just be nerves. Or, you know, them trying not to mess up what they finally think is something real.

2. They're used to doing life solo.

They’ve had years to get used to their own routines, rhythms, and Sunday night solo Netflix marathons. Sharing space—emotionally and physically—can feel a little… weird at first.

Pro tip: Don’t take it personally if they don’t instantly want to merge calendars, closets, or toothbrush holders. Independence is part of their DNA—it’s not a wall, just a boundary they’re learning how to balance.

3. They’ll overthink. Everything.

Long-term singles are self-reflective to a fault. They’ll wonder if they’re ready. They’ll second-guess if they’re doing things “right.” They might ask you if you’re sure about them. Multiple times.

Pro tip: Reassure them with actions, not just words. Consistency beats grand romantic gestures every time.

4. They might hit the “is this even worth it?” wall.

If a little tension or conflict shows up (and it will), don’t be surprised if they question everything. When you’ve been your own safe space for years, even a small emotional shake-up can feel like a 7.0 earthquake.

Pro tip: Don’t panic. Breathe. Talk. Remind them that healthy relationships do have bumps—and that the goal isn’t perfection, it’s growth together.

5. They guard their peace like it’s a national treasure.

Long-term singles have spent years protecting their mental and emotional energy. So if your vibe feels chaotic, dramatic, or even just a little too fast—poof!—they might retreat into their comfy, quiet world.

Pro tip: Respect their pace. Create a space that feels safe, not rushed. If you show up with calm, curiosity, and kindness, you’ll slowly earn your spot in their world.

Dating a long-term single isn’t about “fixing” them—it’s about understanding them. They’re not broken. They’re built different. And if you’re patient enough to stick around? You just might find yourself in a relationship that’s deep, honest, and wildly worth it.

Signs They’re Ready (Or Not) for a Relationship

So you're vibing with someone who's been single for what feels like forever. How do you know if they're actually ready to dive into something serious—or if you're just their “let’s see how this goes” experiment?

Here’s how to spot the signs without needing a crystal ball:

Signs They’re Ready

1. They talk about the future—and you’re in it.

If they’re mentioning vacations, meeting friends, or even just next month’s plans with you in the picture? That’s a green flag, baby.

2. They communicate—even when it’s uncomfortable.

Anyone can be cute when it’s easy. But someone who’s ready for a relationship will show up especially when things get messy or awkward. They’ll talk, they’ll listen, they’ll work through it.

3. They make space for you.

You don’t feel like an outsider in their life. They find ways to include you, even if it means shifting their beloved routines or adjusting that sacred solo Saturday.

4. They show up consistently.

No ghosting. No breadcrumbing. No “sorry, I’ve just been busy for a week straight.” Just real, steady presence.

Signs They’re Not Quite There Yet

1. They treat the relationship like a side quest.

If you’re only getting leftovers—leftover time, leftover energy, leftover effort—it might be a sign they’re not prioritizing a partnership yet.

2. They avoid defining anything.

Look, not everyone loves labels. But if they dodge every convo about what this is or where it’s going? They might not be emotionally ready to commit.

3. They panic when things get serious.

Any time the connection starts to deepen, they pull away or create distance? Classic sign of someone still fighting their own readiness.

4. You feel like you’re proving your worth.

If it feels like you’re constantly auditioning for a role in their life, instead of being accepted as you are—they might not be relationship-ready just yet.

So... Should You Date the Long-Term Single?

Short answer? Heck yes—if you're up for something real.
Dating a long-term single isn’t about “saving” them or rushing them into commitment. It’s about respecting their journey, being patient with their pace, and showing up consistently. No games. No pressure. Just curiosity and connection.

They’ve spent years building a beautiful life on their own. If they’re choosing to share that space with you, don’t take it lightly. You’re not just their next chapter—you could be their favorite one yet.

And hey, if you're a long-term single reading this?
You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just taking the scenic route—and sometimes, that makes for the best kind of love story.