Is your partner being secretive, giving you the cold shoulder, or constantly fighting with you? Maybe you suspect he is having an affair?
Every relationship has its ups and downs. But there comes a moment when you need to say enough is enough and put your foot down.
The problem is, it is never easy to determine the best time to throw in the towel in a romantic relationship. Before you know it, doubt, guilt, and hope could creep in, and you will soon be thinking of giving things a second chance (or a third, fourth, or fifth).
After all, breaking up is a difficult decision that could send you on an emotional rollercoaster. Unhealthy attachment, fear of isolation, social pressure, financial issues, and countless other reasons can prevent you from facing reality and doing what’s best for you.
But when you continue with an affair that neither serves you nor your boyfriend, you can end up feeling miserable for the rest of your life.
If you are wondering whether you should part ways with your better half, this article is for you. Here are the top signs that you need to move on.
You No Longer Trust Each Other
Is your partner constantly checking up on you, questioning where you have been or who you were with? Or have you caught them going through your phone or rummaging through your bag? Perhaps it’s the other way around. Maybe your boyfriend has a history of cheating and lying that makes you edgy, causing you to keep an eye on his every move.
Needless to say, trust forms the foundation of any type of relationship. And without it, you have little chance of building a future together.
Your Boyfriend Is Abusive
When your partner gets abusive, it is time to get out. We are not talking about just physical violence here. Verbal and emotional abuse is equally bad and can leave lasting scars, preventing you from nurturing healthy relationships years into the future.
Unfortunately, many people facing abuse choose to normalize this power imbalance and remain together with their partners for various reasons. But if your other half is displaying controlling, disrespectful, belittling, or violent behaviors, it is important to walk away and seek help for your own safety.
You Feel Distant, Emotionally and Physically
Remember how you and your partner could hardly be away from each other when you first started dating? This honeymoon phase usually dissipates after a few months into a relationship. But the emotional and physical connection never really dies.
So, if you suddenly feel like two strangers sharing a bed, then the rift between you two may be deeper than you realize. Particularly, watch for signs such as a lack of physical intimacy and a breakdown in communication.
You Have Already Broken Up Several Times
Couples who separate could sometimes get back together when they have had more time to reflect on things while apart. But when this becomes a frequent occurrence, it could be a sign of trouble in paradise.
It usually happens when you don’t address underlying issues that drive you and your partner apart again and again. Unless you are prepared to have the difficult conversations once and for all, you can expect to be stuck in a never-ending (and unhealthy) whirlwind of emotions despite getting back.
You Are Constantly Fighting
The truth is, no relationship is a smooth sail. All couples have on-and-off disagreements. But if you are fighting all the time, you need to take note.
It could be that you are always irritated by small things, like leaving the toilet seat up. Maybe it is far bigger issues that keep you up at night persistently quarreling. Either way, if you find things have gotten increasingly toxic, you might want to consider parting ways when all else fails.
You Feel Emotionally Drained
A broken-down relationship can sap life out of you. Constant arguments, feeling unappreciated, and being verbally abused can all eventually make you feel tired, trapped, and deeply unhappy.
It can become destructive to the point where you feel as if you have lost your identity and purpose. Your friends and family might even comment that your personality has changed. If you find yourself in a situation like this, it’s important to make a decision before you begin to resent yourself and your partner.
There Is Misalignment in Your Expectations
It’s not unusual for two people to realize they want different things at a later stage in a relationship. For instance, one person may be keen to have kids and start a family, while the other wants to prioritize their career and financial stability.
This kind of misalignment can occur with your values, interests, life goals, and a variety of things. So, ask yourself, is this how you pictured your life with your loved one? If you answered no, reassess your priorities and determine whether or not you are willing to make further compromises.
The Spark Is No More
You no doubt still remember what it felt like when you and your boyfriend first set eyes on each other. How would you rate that spark right now on a scale of 1 to 10? Do you still enjoy each other’s company? Is there love, appreciation, and affection? Are you both making an effort to keep the relationship going?
Not happy with the answers? Perhaps it’s a sign that your relationship with your partner no longer meets your needs. And moving on could be in your best interests.
To Conclude
If you read this article, it is likely that you are already contemplating the state of your relationship. However, finding one or more of the above red flags (except signs of abuse) doesn’t necessarily mean you should rush into a decision. Often, relationships can be saved with an open and honest conversation. Sometimes, professional guidance, such as counseling and couples therapy, could help, too.
But it can’t be a one-sided affair: To make it work, both partners should be willing to save the relationship.
If you don’t see a future together anymore and feel things have reached a point beyond repair, it’s best to go your separate ways. Even then, having a conversation with your boyfriend to resolve issues would be beneficial for moving forward with a clear mind.
